Sworn Enemy of the Vacuum Cleaner Dog Hoodie — Funny Dog Nemesis Pullover
- Free worldwide delivery
- Printed just for you
- Heavyweight fleece hoodie
Sworn Enemy of the Vacuum Cleaner · 5 colours · XS–3XL
One machine. Zero trust. Constant vigilance.
A cosy fleece hoodie with a bold illustrated back print and the words "SWORN ENEMY" in big warm cream lettering — see the photos for the full design. For the dog who has never once let the hoover finish a room in peace.
Eye-catching print, built to last
Printed big and bright across the back in bold cream lettering with a colour-matched red spotlight background — chunky, high-contrast artwork that holds up wash after wash. See the photos for the full design.
A gift that gets a laugh
Every dog owner has one — the dog who treats hoovering day like a home invasion. A fun, instantly-recognisable gift for anyone whose dog has strong feelings about household appliances.
Cosy fleece, thoughtful details
A 7.4oz/yd² 60/40 combed ringspun cotton-poly fleece with a soft feel throughout. A collar hole at the back of the hood keeps the collar or harness accessible without taking the hoodie off, plus a handy front pocket and ribbed cuffs and hem for a snug, secure fit. Available in Black, Navy, Granite Heather, Mauvelous and Saltwater — the design prints the same bold red-and-cream way on every colour.
| Size | Weight | Chest | Back length | Typical breeds |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| XS | 0–4 lb | 12.5" (32cm) | 8.5" (22cm) | Chihuahua, teacup Yorkie, teacup Pomeranian (puppies) |
| S | 5–10 lb | 13.5" (34cm) | 9.4" (24cm) | Chihuahua, Yorkshire Terrier, Pomeranian, Toy Poodle |
| M | 11–23 lb | 14.5" (37cm) | 10" (25cm) | Dachshund, French Bulldog, Pug, Cavalier King Charles Spaniel |
| L | 24–45 lb | 16.5" (42cm) | 12" (30cm) | Cocker Spaniel, Beagle, Border Collie, Staffordshire Bull Terrier |
| XL | 46–70 lb | 18.5" (47cm) | 15.5" (39cm) | Labrador Retriever, Golden Retriever, Boxer, Husky |
| 2XL | 71–85 lb | 23" (58cm) | 17.5" (44cm) | German Shepherd, Doberman, large Golden Retriever |
| 3XL | 86 lb+ | 28" (71cm) | 18" (46cm) | Great Dane, Mastiff, St Bernard, Newfoundland |
Measurements are from the hoodie manufacturer's own spec sheet for this model. Breed examples are a general guide only — always go by your dog's actual weight, and for barrel-chested breeds (French Bulldogs, Pugs, Staffies) size up from the weight range.
Pairs well with
Walkies Snacks Leave Dog Hoodie & Best Friend Therapist Roommate Dog Hoodie — more honest, funny badges for the dog who tells it like it is. Shop Walkies Snacks Leave → · Shop Best Friend Therapist Roommate →
The rest of the range — more designs, one for every kind of pet person. Shop all dog hoodies →
Questions & answers
How big is the design on the back?
It's placed centre-back and sized to sit clearly within the print area without crowding the seams — bold and easy to read rather than a small logo. The product photos show the exact scale, so have a look before ordering.
What size should I order?
Sizing is based on your dog's weight, not breed alone. Check the weight range in the size guide above, and for barrel-chested breeds (French Bulldogs, Pugs, Staffies) size up from the weight range.
What colours does it come in?
Five colourways: Black, Navy, Granite Heather, Mauvelous and Saltwater. The Sworn Enemy design prints the same bold red and cream way on every colour.
Who's this hoodie for?
For the dog who has personally appointed themselves head of household security against the vacuum cleaner, and the owner who's given up trying to explain it's not actually dangerous. A fun gift for anyone whose dog takes hoovering day very, very seriously.
How do I wash it so the print lasts?
Machine wash on the warm cycle with detergent. Turning it inside out before washing helps keep the print looking sharp for longer.
How long does delivery take?
Each hoodie is made to order, so please allow 2–5 working days for printing before dispatch. Delivery is free and fully tracked to the UK, EU, US, Australia and more than 40 countries in total. Anywhere else ships at a flat £6.99. For an estimated delivery time to your location, see our contact page or check the information at checkout.
Can I return it if it's not right?
If you're not happy with your order, visit our contact page and we'll sort it out. Returns are free within 30 days for unused items in original condition. As each hoodie is printed to order, we can't accept change-of-mind returns on worn items, but anything faulty will be reprinted or refunded.
Part of the SniffWaggleNWalk™ range — designed in-house, printed on demand, built for real walks.
Designed for dog people, built for warmth
Our designs are created in-house for proud dog parents and printed on premium fleece hoodies using long-lasting inks. Made to order means less waste and a hoodie that feels warmer, softer, and more elevated.